Raw Results – 7/22/19
Raw Results – 7/22/19
Commentary Team: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Cory Graves, Booker T, Christian, Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler,
John Cena making his return in neon green and purple.
He says he’s excited to be here tonight and hypes up our appearances from noted racist Hulk Hogan, 16-time world champion (it’s actually at least 19 times, but who’s counting?) Ric Flair, D-Generation X, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and says this is his home. Always has been, always will be, and he knows he’s not around as much as he used to be, but we’re his heart and his family and he’s just as excited to be here today as he was on day one.
So without further ado, he wants to get the show on the road, and the Usos make their entrance.
They get in the ring and ask if Cena just said “Day 1” and ask what will make the Raw Reunion even more lit? If Cena and the Usos dropped some rhymes right now. John goes to leave but the Usos say the people came to see the doctor, not the cat that left us for the movie biz. Cena says they look just like their mugshots and cuts a few quick bars until the Usos point out that their dad Rikishi is here.
(I note at this point that my girlfriend is not very fond of the Doctor of Thuganomics gimmick.)
He makes his entrance and again Cena goes to leave. Rikishi tells him to respectfully back that ass up and turn back around, and he obliges. Rikishi says he knows John Cena is the man, but tonight he can’t let him leave without busting a move. They get ready to bust said move–
Enter the Revival… AND D-Von Dudley!
Cut backstage where Hulk Hogan and the Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart are hyping the show up
THE USOS W/RIKISHI VS THE REVIVAL W/D-VON DUDLEY:
Jimmy with a Samoan Drop on Dash, Leaping Enzugiri, Dawson pushes Dash out of a Crossbody aattempt, Dash with a rollup for a 2 count, Running Butt-Butt, Revival with a German Suplex/European Uppercut combo for a 2 count, Rikishi backs up D-Von on the floor, Dawson has words with him, but turns around into a Superkick, Jey with a tag, Jimmy with a Superkick on Dash, Jey finishes Dawson with a Samoan Splash for the win
WINNERS: THE USOS
Backstage, Alicia Fox is wearing mirrored scale mail, once again having the best armor class in the room. Kaitlyn and Dana Brooke are there as well
Torrie Wilson rolls up and they have a moment together before Santino Marella shows up. They ask about his sister and his other girlfriend, and the cobra comes out. They all have a bit of fun until Drew McIntyre suddenly appears. He mutters “Legends.” and walks off
R-Truth and Carmella are interviewed.
They play a recap of R-Truth being interviewed about San Diego Comic Con and being challenged by “Hurricane” Shane Helms and Drake Maverick (in a banana suit) in turn and successfully fending both challenges off. He says if he had known about this he’d have gotten Big Bird or Larry Bird in, and Drake Maverick’s wife Renee Michelle has rolled up to call Truth out for ruining her life.
She and Carmella bicker, Drake comes from behind…
Drake Maverick wins by pinfall with a schoolboy pin, winning the WWE 24/7 Championship.
The Godfather rolls up afterwards, asking Charly Caruso if she knows what time it is, and he welcomes us aboard the Ho Train and dances with her for a beat
Drew McIntyre vs Cedric Alexander never happens as Drew beats the dog shit out of Cedric & completely obliterates him with an Inverted Concrete Slam on the apron
Drake Maverick is rushing to the locker room to collect his stuff when he opens a box full of worms.
IT’S THE BOOGEYMAN!
Maverick is paralyzed in fear as the Boogeyman tells him he’s coming to get him and he trips and falls when Pat Patterson comes through the door and steps on him…
Pat Patterson wins by pinfall with a single foot pin, winning the WWE 24/7 Championship.
Christian joins the commentary booth and Lilian Garcia takes over the ring announcing for this next match.
THE VIKING RAIDERS VS CURT HAWKINS & ZACK RYDER:
Russian Legsweep/STO combo on Rowe for a 2 count, Hanson with a Seated Senton on Ryder for a 2 count, Rowe slams Hanson on Ryder for a 2 count, Hanson wipes them both out with a Tope Suicida then they finish Hawkins with Thor’s Hammer for the win
WINNERS: THE VIKING RAIDERS
Backstage we see a bunch of the legends chilling when we pan over to Mike Kanellis.
He’s talking to Eve Torres and Eric Bischoff and Maria rolls up to berate him. Bischoff suggests bringing him to SmackDown but Maria needs him to put lotion on her belly to prevent stretchmarks, that would end her modeling career. Ron Simmons rolls up and takes Jimmy Hart’s megaphone… DAMN!
The Club are chilling backstage and celebrating their new branding as The OC, the original Club and the only one that matters, not these so-called legends. They talk about making a statement and showing the world how they’re the most dominant group in WWE– then, now, and forever. They Too Sweet and that’s the segment.
Pat Patterson is backstage and yelling at Gerald Brisco, who has just won the 24/7 Championship. He walks off celebrating and runs into Kelly Kelly…
Kelly Kelly wins by pinfall with a knee to the balls to win the WWE 24/7 Championship.
Samoa Joe is in the ring to cut a promo.
He says he’s come here tonight to point out a great injustice in WWE. He talks about shows like Raw Reunion being a plague to WWE, letting people put on their rose-colored glasses and blinded by nostalgia. Instead of seeing what he does best, you got the Usos out here with their daddy spitting limericks at John Cena.
Enter Roman Reigns.
He goes face to face with Joe and says if he’s got something to say about his family, he should say it. Samoa says he wants to make it clear to everyone– he doesn’t have something to say, he already said something. Reigns says he’s from the same island, he knows what happens next. Joe with some cheap shots, Roman blocks and fires back but Samoa puts him into the post and then into the barricades.
Back into the ring, he hammers Reigns with boots, a headbutt, and the Big Dog ends up on the floor again. Jawing at him against the barricade, throwing him back inside… SUPERMAN PUNCH TAKES JOE OFF THE APRON! Samoa goes and gets the mic and fakes him out before asking if he wants to do this and do it the right way, and if the people want to see it tonight before saying he won’t do a damn thing for these people and leaving.
Reigns gets on the mic and says not all Samoans are cowards, to which Joe fires back that you’re about to see one put out permanently
SAMOA JOE VS ROMAN REIGNS:
Joe with a Running Back Elbow for a 2 count, Joe goes for a Tope Suicida, but Roman evades and hits the Drive-By, back in the ring, Leaping Lariat, Never-Ending Story, Running Big Boot, locked & loaded, Superman Punch countered into an Inverted Atomic Drop, Big Boot, Running Senton for a 2 count, Joe wants the Choke, but Roman dumps Joe to the floor, Joe’s neck lands hard on the apron, he shakes the cobwebs & gets back in & Roman breaks Joe in half with Spear for the win
WINNER: ROMAN REIGNS
Miz welcomes us to MizTV.
He hypes up the return of his show, Miz and Mrs., and introduces his guest tonight, Seth Rollins.
We get a recap video of the events of Extreme Rules.
Rollins laughs at the idea that the biggest match of his life is “a predicament” and mocks Paul Heyman’s way of introducing Brock Lesnar. Paul E appears from Gorilla Position to talk about his client and Seth calls Brock a Seth Rollins wannabe, which gets Heyman down to ringside. Rollins says this is the last and only time he’ll tell him that if he wants to talk the talk for Brock, he better be prepared to walk the walk and he’s gonna give him five seconds before he comes down that ramp and stomps his head in.
Paul E begs off but Seth does a fast count and he runs off for real. Rollins says Brock isn’t a beast or a conqueror, he’s a man, and a man can lose. And at SummerSlam, he’s going to wrestle Lesnar for the Universal Championship, and Brock will lose. But as for tonight, he doesn’t get ready for the biggest match of his life by wrestling, he gets ready by facing the best of the best, and tonight he’s got AJ Styles.
Charly Caruso is backstage with the partying legends to poll them on who’ll win at SummerSlam when Sami Zayn rolls up.
He says she’s what’s wrong with the program and these people aren’t legends, they were just there at the time. Rey Mysterio rolls up and picks a fight when Kurt Angle rolls up to remind us how he solved problems back when he was general manager of Raw by fighting it out
Back from commercial Kelly Kelly rolls up backstage and gets assaulted by Candice Michelle, Melina has a ref shirt on and Candice wins the belt
Alundra Blayze chokes out Candice to win the belt and says she’s not going to be Champion for long (I sense a trash can coming later)
REY MYSTERIO VS SAMI ZAYN:
Sami ties Rey to the Tree of Woe, Hesitation Dropkick for a 2 count, Blue Thunder Driver for a 2 count, Mysterio with a Wheelbarrow, Sami avoids the 619 & goes to walk off, but he’s stpped by Rob Van Dam (so presumably this is the compromise they worked out with Impact, Rhino could appear before his contract expired if RVD could appear for this show or that’s it appears to be anyway), Sgt Slaughter, The Hurricane & Kurt Angle as they herd Sami back to the ring, Rey with a Hurricanrana, 619 then finishes Zayn with a Frog Splash for the win
WINNER: REY MYSTERIO
Backstage a limo pulls up and the “Nature Boy” himself, Ric Flair gets out
Montez Ford is looking for Angelo Dawkins and finds him, putting eyedrops in.
Dawkins says he just got done chilling with RVD and he recounts a whole tale of how he was hanging out with all the legends to Montez’s increasing excitement, before having to leave him to take a call from the Godfather.
Alundra Blayze comes to the commentary desk with the WWE 24/7 Championship and picks up a trash can… but before she can throw it away she gets cut off by familiar music!
EVERYBODY HAS A PRICE FOR THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN!
TED DIBIASE IS HERE!
He pulls out a wad of cash and buys the title from her!
AJ STYLES W/THE OC VS SETH ROLLINS:
Seth counters an Ushi-Goroshi and rolls AJ up for a 2 count, AJ knocks Seth off the apron, The OC stalks Rollins when DX’s Trips & HBK come out to even the odds, Seth with a Slingblade, Blockbuster, Springboard Knee Strike, Avada Kedavra, he loads up for the kill, but The OCs trip Seth up to cause a dq
WINNER: SETH ROLLINS
DX is in the ring, AJ says they’re one of them & throw up the Too Sweet, DX reciprocates before telling the OC to suck it, they fight off the OC, the OC trio grab chairs, Road Dogg & X-Pac come out to join DX & they’re joined by the other members of The Kliq as The Outsiders are there in nWo black and white gear, Road Dogg said they’re joined by Chyna’s spirit to make seven, but says he completely forgot Billy Gunn so that would be 8, but math’s never been his strong suit
With the numbers clearly no longer in their favor The OCs retreat
Mark Henry and Mick Foley are shown chatting backstage
Million Dollar Man gets in a limo.
Noises are heard and Drake Maverick gets out with the title in hand!
The rush of superstars comes chasing after him.
Mick Foley is in the ring with a microphone in hand.
He goes for the cheap pop and reminds us he was the one to introduce the 24/7 title, which brings Drake and the crush charging through. Mick vows to take the title before the end of the night and says some of the finest moments of his life have been on Monday nights over the last 24 years…
The lights start shutting down, and when they come back on, Bray Wyatt is in the ring in the Fiend mask. The Fiend holds up both the hurt & heal gloves and decides on hurt. He attacks Foley… WITH THE MANDIBLE CLAW!
Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross make their entrance for A Moment of Bliss.
Bliss introduces Cross and then her guest, Becky Lynch. Becky barely takes her seat when Natalya comes out to join them. She explains that if Lynch has something to say to her, she can say it to her face, and we get a recap of last week. N Nattie and Becky talk about their shared history and Lynch says the title is the scalp of the Baddest Woman on the Planet and she’s going to embarrass her in Canada.
This gets a brawl breaking out and referees swarm to pull them apart!
Nattie is interviewed backstage to take credit for building the Women’s Evolution and promise Becky Lynch the ass-whipping of a lifetime at SummerSlam.
Backstage, Drake Maverick is walking along with the 24/7 Championship and his wife pulls him into a limo only for R-Truth to come from behind with an assist from Carmella…
R-Truth wins by pinfall with a schoolboy pin to win the WWE 24/7 Championship.
Truth drives off with Drake’s wife and the title and leaves Maverick behind to realize how monumentally he’s screwed up
BRAUN STROWMAN VS RANDY ROWE:
Braun says don’t blink this isn’t going to last long, pair of Biels, Running Big Boot, Sky-High Chokeslam into a Release Powerbomb for the win
WINNER: BRAUN STROWMAN
Ric Flair makes his entrance.
He’s joined on stage by the rest of tonight’s legends, including noted racist Hulk Hogan, who gets his own entrance.
The Hulkster gets on the mic and says it’s great to be here before going for the cheap pop with apologies to Mick Foley. He asks what we’re gonna do, etc, etc.
”Stone Cold” Steve Austin makes his entrance and gets a couple cases of Steveweisers put in the ring with him before getting on the mic to say he’s not gonna come out here and get all sappy and sentimental because he’d rather hit Stunners on everybody on the stage. He says everyone on the crew is his family and talks about the brotherhood and sisterhood of the ring a bit.
He invites the legends into the ring and toasts the entire world, bottom line, Stone Cold, etc.
He cuts his music with one minute left and offers a toast to Jerry Brisco specifically