Raw Results – 3/25/19

 

 

 

 

 

Raw Results – 3/25/19
Boston, Massachusetts
TD Garden Arena
Commentary Team: Michael Cole, Renee Young & Cory Graves

Ronda Rousey makes her entrance and gets on the mic ahead of her match in tonight’s Beat the Clock Challenge featuring the three women in said match against the Riott Squad. She paces a moment to let the crowd react before beginning, saying she only has one thing to say– “You’re welcome.”

Actually, she has something else to say, and she picks up the mic and whines about us not appreciating her before promising that she’s gonna tap Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair out at the same time at WrestleMania. Again she drops the mic and… again she picks it back up, saying she doesn’t know what a Beat the Clock Challenge is but she’s sure it’s bullshit.

Becky Lynch comes out before the match can start and tells Rousey to stop being a weirdo.

We all know she came here with her big money contract and the whole world yawned. Given every advantage out there but still, nobody gave a damn until The Man came around. She saved her title run and just makes her better, and that’s why they’re the main event. Oh, and Ronda knows this ends with Becky holding the title above her head and her skull under her foot.

Enter Charlotte Flair. The main event isn’t because of either of these two, she says, but rather what she’s done over these past seven years, and that’s why she’s been hand-picked to be the main event of WrestleMania.

BEAT THE CLOCK CHALLENGE:

Logan with a Kondo Clutch, but Ronda makes it to the rope then climbs up them, Juji-Gatame over the rope, Supergirl Punch then locks in the Omoplata Armbar & Logan taps out in 1:25

Ruby ducks The Queen’s Boot then blocks a Figure 8 attempt, Inverted Backbreaker, Ruby blocks Natural Selection and hits a Complete Shot for a near fall, Riott Kick countered into the Figure 8, but time runs out

Charlotte with a Queen’s Boot to Becky before leaving as Live charges Lynch, Springboard Double Stomp for a 2 count, Becky with a Lariat, Jumping Calf Kick, Rolling Solebut, she looks for the Dis-Arm-Her, but Liv with a rollup into the turnbuckle, she tries a Sunset Flip, but Becky jumps into a Jackknife pin for the win 1:18 to win the Beat the Clock challenge

WINNER: BECKY LYNCH

Lio Rush cuts a promo, telling Finn he should just have quit while he’s ahead but now he’s gonna be forced to leave as a broken, beaten, hot piece of garbage like Mojo Rawley’s friend the football man who just retired. (I may have paraphrased that partially.) But as much as he’d like to end Balor’s WrestleMania dreams, he’s not medically cleared to compete tonight, so Bob won’t be teaming with him, but rather with Jinder Mahal

FINN BALOR VS BOBBY LASHLEY & JINDER MAHAL:

Forearm sends Mahal into Lashley, Final Cut then a Standing Double Stomp into Lashley, he sends Mahal into Lashley, Tope con Hilo, he sends Mahal back in & finishes it with The Coup de Grace for the win to get an IC Title shot at Mania

WINNER: FINN BALOR

Lashley wipes out the Bollywoods in rage then breaks Mahal in half with a Murder-Death Spear

Elias playing guitar in Times Square.

He talks about how many iconic artists have performed there, but he’s gonna give the greatest performance in history at WrestleMania. He takes credit for all the people being in Times Square and goes to start playing when a street guitar rolls up playing some fancy Spanish guitar licks. Elias asks if he can sing, so he starts singing and the Drifter cuts him off and calls him untalented and shoos him away.

ALEISTER BLACK & RICOCHET VS THE REVIVAL:

Revival with an Assisted Suplex on Ricochet, Dash into a cover for a near fall, Black with a CQC Strikes then a Sliding Knee to Dawson for a near fall, he goes for the kill, Dash pulls Ricochet off the apron, Dawson with a DDT for a near fall, Double Black Mass to Revival then Ricochet finishes Dawson with the 630 Senton on Dash for the win

WINNERS: ALEISTER BLACK & RICOCHET

Drew McIntyre gets on the mic.

He says he doesn’t give a damn if you like him, but you WILL respect him. One week is a long time to wait for an answer from Roman Reigns and he’s a bit nervous about the answer, so he rolls a clip of his beatdown from two weeks ago and then his promo from last week issuing his challenge as a reminder. Drew continues, saying he hopes Roman’s wife or one of his extended family got through his thick skull to just say no to his challenge.

He’s already vanquished the Shield, exterminating Dean Ambrose and beating the #1 contender to the Universal Championship, Seth Rollins. He knows what the superstar Roman Reigns wants to say, “Yes, I never turn down a challenge” but one more time he wants to appeal to Joe the Man to think of his family. Hasn’t he put them through enough? They already had to watch daddy fight for his life once, does he want to put them through that one more time when he knows he’s going to lose?

That’s why he’s out here– he’ll stand here all night until he gets an answer, hold Raw hostage–

Enter Roman Reigns.

He gets in the ring and gets face to face with Drew before telling him, in third person, that Roman accepts his challenge. He wants him to listen clearly, because what’s next doesn’t come from Roman– don’t ever run your mouth about his wife and kids. HE DECKS DREW AND THE FIGHT IS MET! Beating him down, throwing him into the ringpost and then getting him back in the ring… MCINTYRE NAILS HIM WITH A NUT SHOT!

Lying in wait while Reigns struggles to recover from the damage to his gentleman’s area… CLAYMORE!

Drew McIntyre is walking backstage when he runs into Dean Ambrose.

Ambrose asks what he called him, a cockroach? He exterminated him? He doesn’t FEEL exterminated, so why not give it one more try tonight? Last man standing. McIntyre says he legit doesn’t know how Dean is standing right now, but he promises he won’t be after tonight.

SASHA BANKS W/BAYLEY VS NATALYA W/BETH PHOENIX:

Nattie wit the Surfboard, but Sasha pushes her way out of it & hits a Basement Meteora for a 2 count, Nattie with a rollup for a 2 count, Sasha blocks a Sharpshooter attempt, Canadian Backbreaker, but Sasha counters into a Sunset Flip for a near fall, Nattie goes for a Basment Dropkick, Sasha picks the ankle and goes into The Bank Statement, Nattie escapes and locks in The Sharpshooter, Sasha crawls to the corner and kicks Nattie off into the turnbuckle when The Samoan Slaughterhouse attacks Bayley then Superkicks Sasha to cause a dq

WINNER: SASHA BANKS

The Samoan Slaughterhouse hit the ring and take Nattie out but Beth cuts them off, she tries a Beth Valley Bomb on Nia, Tamina cuts her off, double chickenwing… GLAM SLAM ON TAMINA! She and Natalya hug as the heels run away and The Fabulous Firebord steps on the end of one of the tag title belts as the champs go to reclaim them!

Commentary hypes up the announcement that the Hart Foundation are going into the WWE Hall of Fame and toss to a video package about them

Beth and Nattie still in the ring, Neidhart clearly emotional over her late father’s induction.

Backstage, Kurt Angle is interviewed.

He says he appreciates Samoa Joe coming to Raw tonight to compete, and his farewell tour is about leaving on his terms. He’s been honored to compete against Apollo Crews and Chad Gable, and he’ll be ready for Baron Corbin come WrestleMania. He says it’s his last match ever in Boston, Massachusetts.

Baron Corbin rolls up to say he appreciates this farewell tour and to needle Kurt about being old and tell him the fans only cheer him because they feel sorry for him and he’s half the man he used to be. He can see the headlines now, “Former Olympic gold medalist disgraces himself in his last match.” Angle leaves with a “Screw you.”

I’m not going to give these SNL wastes of plasma anymore than the briefest mention in this review, the only thing you need to know is they’re entering the Andre Battle Royal (This went on far too long to get to that point) with any luck Braun will rip them in half in 10 seconds and we’ll never see them again

BARON CORBIN VS APOLLO CREWS:

Crews with a trifecta of rollups for 2 counts, Corbin with a Tossing Back Suplex for a 2 count, he charges, but Apollo evades and Corbin hits the post, Apollo with a Leaping Enzugiri, up top with a Frog Splash for a near fall, Corbin finishes Apollo with The End of Days for the win

WINNER: BARON CORBIN

Afterwards he hits another End of Days

Seth Rollins makes his entrance.

He says he’s gonna cut right to the chase– Brock Lesnar and he aren’t cut from the same cloth, and the roads they took to WrestleMania couldn’t be any different, but there’s only one road out of their match, and that road will be forged by the man who will define the future of our business. He wants to carry that burden, because he wants to be a champion that inspires people.

Guys like Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart, Ric Flair, hell Triple H, even John Cena, they inspire people. But Brock doesn’t inspire people, and it goes without saying that this is the biggest match of Seth’s entire career. He’s wanted this for a long, long time but up until recently he didn’t realize how important this match is to all of us. Yesterday he had an autograph signing here in Boston and every single person that came up to him, they all said the same thing before they left the table– “Please, Seth, beat Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania.”

And that hit him in the heart, because he’s said he’s gonna win and do everything he can to make it happen, but now he feels like he doesn’t have a choice. He refuses to let Brock be the champion that defines the future of this industry, so in 13 days he’s gonna get in the ring with that bully, but what Lesnar doesn’t understand is that with an army behind him, he’s unstoppable.

Together we’re gonna march to the gates of Suplex City and burn… it… do–

Enter Paul Heyman.

He says he appreciates being informed that it’s now a handicap match, Lesnar against Rollins and the entire WWE Universe. But he likes the odds, and he assures Seth his chances of winning are zero. He asks if he realizes how pathetic he sounds, needing their love and support and affirmation. He knows how Seth’s generation is, what’s next, he needs our thoughts and prayers?

He says Rollins needs our thoughts and prayers because he doesn’t have a thought as to how to beat Brock nor a prayer in doing so. Don’t take it personally, but when Lesnar wins, he wants Seth to take it personally when he and the entire WWE Universe loses. Paul E leaves and Rollins chases out after him but before he can even do anything Heyman falls down and begs off, saying Brock told him to say everything.

Seth laughs at him and says he’s got it all wrong, he’s not asking for thoughts and prayers… he’s here to answer them! WE are going to WrestleMania, WE are going to beat Brock Lesnar, and WE are going to march into Suplex City and BURN! IT! DOWN!

Samoa Joe makes his entrance and gets on the mic.

He begs Angle’s forgiveness, he forgot the flowers. But then he’s not a very sentimental person, and he knows all these mouth-breathers want it but it’ll be a cold day in the afterlife before he lets Kurt ride into the sunset. No, he brings a very different gift tonight, because it’s WrestleMania season, and for his last night in Boston he has a very special gift.

A good night’s sleep is very important, and he couldn’t think of a better way to say goodbye than putting his ass to sleep one last time!

KURT ANGLE VS SAMOA JOE:

Joe starts with the Headbutt that Angle used on him in his first TNA appearance, he sends Angle to the floor and follows with a Tope Suicida, Angle with a trifecta of German Suplexes for a 2 count, Olympic Slam blocked, Joe with an Inverted Atomic Drop/Big Boot/Senton combo for a 2 count, Angle sidesteps a charge and hits an Olympic Slam for a near fall, Ankle Lock, but Joe kicks him off, Snap Powerslam for a near fall, Angle blocks a Muscle Buster and hits a Missile Dropkick, straps down, Olypic Slam blocked, Sambo Suplex blocked, Coquina Clutch, Angle flips Joe over into a flash pin while still in The Choke, Joe won’t release the hold and essentially pins himself giving Angle the win

WINNER: KURT ANGLE

Triple H gets on the mic.

First off he congratulates Becky Lynch, Charlotte Flair, and Ronda Rousey for main eventing WrestleMania this year, and not just them, but every woman that’s ever stepped through these ropes to stand in this ring and they should all be proud because this was not given, it was earned. That’s the kind of thing that makes him happy, like realizing that the microphone is dry and not the one Batista spit all over two weeks ago.

Some things don’t make him happy, like the thing he’s got trouble fishing out of his pocket, an envelope with a letter from Batista’s lawyer in it. A letter that states that Dave will not compete unless he agrees to yet one more stipulation. The letter is kinda rambling and goes on and on, Batista says a lot of things, like how HHH started Evolution to keep the title around his waist longer.

Really, Dave, you just figured that one out now? Batista had a big week, realizing both that and that the moon is made out of cheese, HHH says. He says Dave said Evolution did nothing for his career but he seems to recall that before Evolution he was D-Von’s Deacon and when he left he was world champion.

He says Evolution prevented him from having a meaningful career, but six championships later he only quit when he realized he couldn’t beat John Cena. He also believes HHH’s obsession kept him from coming back after he quit the second time because he refused to return his phone calls, but when he did his manager wanted them to move the date of WrestleMania to accomodate his shooting schedule for Guardians of the Galaxy.

The letter eventually gets to the stipulation, which Hunter wants to read directly. Dave said, “if you would like me to appear then at WrestleMania you will give me what I want, what I really really want, I’ll tell you what I want” and of course it’s Spice Girls lyrics. (While everyone made the joke a few weeks ago, yes they actually went there) Cut to the chase, Batista wants HHH to put his career on the line– if he wins, Hunter never competes in the ring again.

HHH calls him out for beating up a 70-year-old man in a lame attempt to get a match at WrestleMania. He agreed to the match and yet he sends this letter because this is what he does. This is just another attempt to quit. He’s not going to let him quit this time, and he’s gonna make Batista stand up to his commitment, make him show up. You believe HHH is obsessed with you?

Dave, he doesn’t give a crap about you, the only thing he’s obsessed with is kicking his ass. And to be honest, if at this point in their careers, he can’t beat a self-deluded douchebag, then he’s got no business being in the ring anyway. You want his career on the line? You got it.

Elias is on the streets again and talking about how when he gives this great performance– somebody rolls up and steals the money out of his guitar case, but he’s okay with that because he’s gonna make a lot more money at WrestleMania and leave no doubt in anyone’s mind that WWE stands for walk with Elias. The guy comes back and steals his guitar case but the Drifter is one with the music and doesn’t notice.

DEAN AMBROSE VS DREW MCINTYRE:

Ambrose goes for the Double Ax Handle to the floor, but McIntyre evades & Dean hits the barricade, Ambrose back up at 8, McIntyre counters a Double Ax Handle with a kendo stick to the ribs then jams the one of the splinters into Dean’s face, Ambrose takes McIntyre to the floor then follows with a Tope Suicida, back up at 6, Glasgow Kiss, Decavitator with Dean’s head under the ring, Drew with the steps driven into Ambrose’s face, Dean back up at 6, Drew sends him back in the ring and grabs some steel, he wedges the chair into the corner, but Dean sends him into it, Dirty Deeds connects, Drew back up at 8, Ambrose with a Big Boot and brings out a table, McIntyre picks up Ambrose and runs him from one corner all the way to the other through the table, Dean back up at 8 & Drew is waiting and unleashes The Claymore Kick, Dean tries to get up, he makes it to his knees and collapses at 9 giving Drew the win

WINNER: DREW MCINTYRE